children – Erol Fox

How to keep the bond with your kids.

Erol Fox — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:23:31 +0000

It seems sooner or later parents and children suffer a break. That tender bond when they were little has become elusive. Children may start to resent their parents or want distance from them. One of the reasons for this is that a parent may stop asking for or reject the help of their children.

You see, we are born to help. Helping another is where much of our value as a human is derived. Words contain tremendous power. The word “help” contains the magic of self-worth.

When we’re little, we dream of helping our parents. Maybe buy them a car, get them a house, or just make a picture for them to help them smile. The happier our parents are, the more love they have to give us. One day, either our parents reject our help or we realize we can’t help them.

Have you stopped asking your children for help? I don’t mean helping you by being one of your workers by doing some task. I mean being by your side to assist you, even in the smallest way so they are a part of your life. Even if your kids are adults now, invite them to genuinely help you, even in the smallest way, and see what’s possible when you reflect back to them that they are valuable and they can help. Help is about raising our spirits, not just completing tasks.

The movie Click with Adam Sandler has a brilliant moment where the writer shows how quickly we close the door on our children’s love when we reject their help. Here’s a clip:

Click here to watch the clip.

Here’s a great idea for your kids, or your friend’s kids.

Erol Fox — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 19:15:00 +0000

Children today are simply warehoused in elementary school, controlled by a time clock and bell, and fed data so they can some day be prepared for jobs that won’t exist when they graduate. American children are behind pretty much every civilized country’s children when they graduate. In 1988, when I just started college, I had a friend in calculus class that was from Afghanistan. He had to kill Russian soldiers to protect his family and village WHILE he studied calculus in high school. Our class was doing work he did as freshman! (Our system wouldn’t accept his transcript from a “lesser” country.”) I was in the gifted math class as a senior and I had to drop calculus because I’d never even heard of calculus in school.

Don’t fret! The point is to challenge our kids, THEY CAN HANDLE IT! Most importantly, challenge them to be creative, they’ll blow you away. In fact, drop your ego and help them SURPASS you.

Here’s a specific tip: encourage them in the arts. Our new world needs creative people not data pushers. Creatives will rule the new economy. (Notice Apple growing and Microsoft stumbling.) Music is a wonderful way to encourage creativity. Music is mathematical, takes discipline, while it also exercises the right hemisphere of creativity and relationships.

Here’s a cool keyboard (typing and piano) I ran across for your PC (sorry Mac folks) that can help your kids learn music & play the piano. Sure beats them mindlessly learning how to play video games or Barbies. For around $50 you can quickly unplug your old keyboard and plug this one in. Change your PC’s keyboard and your kids can expand their soul. If you’ve got friends with kids, share the idea.

http://www.prodikeys.com/

Remember, KIDS CAN TAKE IT! Challenge them. Believe in them. Help them become great and STOP worrying about how much they like you.

Check out this video of a piano solo on this baby:

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzGLJ9wEM-U&feature=related

OK, it’s fine to get one for youself! Creative creation uplifts the soul…

Why children “don’t listen”. Give your kids a break!

Erol Fox — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 01:04:00 +0000

If you have kids, want to have kids, or have friends with kids under the age of 8 years old, you better read this new study!

So many parents get upset with their little ones for “not listening”. They tell their kids something to do in the future and the kids don’t remember. Then parents, having egos like everyone, take it personally. This new study shows that 3-year-old brains don’t work the same way adult brains work. (Of course!)

The tiny tots in the study reveal for the first time that children mostly don’t live in the present or the future. They store information and retrieve it AFTER they need it. So you might tell them to wear their jacket later because it’s cold outside. But their brain waits until they are outside, it’s now cold, and they pull up the old memory of where their jacket is and the conversation. This could explain why adults are full or worry and children are so at peace: kids don’t live in the future.

The moral, stop judging our kids like they are little adults. Drop the expectations and self-importance and get curious about how THEY work.

Why Toddlers Don’t Do What They’re Told