presence – Erol Fox

Men: Touch her gently and give her your presence and magic.

Erol Fox — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 00:04:00 +0000

OK guys, listen up. We men are so clueless about women, and it is SO simple. We think we have to do all these complicated things. Maybe it’s from listening to our friends and family & watching too many movies and TV shows? The point is, there is one thing you are useful for that makes all the difference for a woman: your presence. I hear this confusion from men so often, it’s time for a refresher.

If she wants a friend, she can get a dog. She can make her own money. And, she can even take care of, well, you know, “other needs” herself. Your greatest gift to her, to the world even, is your presence.

So next time you’re in a challenging situation with her… Stop talking! Stop thinking! Take a deep slow breath and focus on the whole breath. On being alive. Feel your chest opening, your heart center becoming exposed and fearless. Just allow your eyes to meet. When she is feeling safe, touch her gently so you are connected. This will help her be grounded, help her mind also stop. Just be THERE with her and STOP talking. Like a great oak tree, grounded. Listen, smile, just feel what she needs in that moment. Watch what happens and tell us your experience here in the comments.

When you are with her, give her your presence, your touch to ground her. Five minutes of your presence is better that five hours of your mediocre chatty mind.

Come to present time, using this simple process

Erol Fox — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 04:12:00 +0000

If you’re not feeling good emotionally, you are not in present time, here, now. Your mind is either in the past or future. At the deepest level, there are no problems right here, right now. All problems are made up by the mind. Or I should say, wrong use of the mind.

A process you can use to get present, here, now, is to GPS yourself. Try it right now. Consider where you are right now. Actually look around, touch some objects and feel them, even name them. Say, “this is my desk”, “this is my window”, etc. Feel the text, weight, solidness of each item.

Now consider, what street are you on? What city are you in? What state, country, what part of the globe? Are you on earth? Where is the sun & moon? Where are you in the Milky Way Galaxy of 100 million stars, and in the universe of 100 million galaxies?

Now look around your room again. Where are you? What day is it? What time is it? What’s your name? Where are you? Are you here, right now?

Notice, there are no problems in the now! Just you, in space and time, and some motion possibly happening. Maybe there is some planning to do. Some logistics to consider. The real you can handle anything and the people around you are not enemies. All problems are fantasies in the mind.

Every next moment is a mystery.

Erol Fox — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 22:18:00 +0000

Suffering can simply be said to be our ego-mind’s obsession with knowing. It demands that it has all the facts. It makes up stories about what the future holds. The truth is however, that this present moment and every moment of our future is a complete mystery.

Stop right now. Notice that the next five minutes is a mystery. Sure, your heart is beating, but how fast or how slow will it beat? What sounds might you hear? Will someone call? When you stop and notice that your future is a mystery waiting to unfold, you’re in spirit, not ego. This is the magic of children. They don’t think they know things!

What if when you wake up tomorrow the day was a mystery to you? You realize that anything is possible. What if you anticipated the wonder of each moment just like you are watching a great movie? You really don’t know what the next moment has in store.

A wonderful fact to reflect upon… that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other. ~Charles Dickens